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God's Will is Greater than Any other will:Serve for the Glory of God, Without expectations of neighbors

Courting a soulmate

7/13/2014

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Over the years I have gotten and sought lots of advice on how to court a woman properly if a man wants to be a gift god is preparing for another vocation in particular blessedly married. So I often prayed for god to prepare me, but also to prepare this woman to be the answer to my hope for a future wife. And along the way I also explored staying blessedly single in lay ministry, or even interviewed with the jesuits and others about being ordained as a catholic priest or maybe a deacon in the future. But as far as courting goes I have seen lots of advice come and go. 

First off most men who are ready to court a woman should be looking into penance and being of service to that woman's family and eldest relatives and to that daughter. He should not be distracted or trying to approach multiple women as potential mates at the same time. It is fine and advisable to serve besides many women as sisters in christ, but at some point you have to pray and discern if you feel called to pursue one woman as your partner. And then in adoration, or during mass or after penance it with a priest it is a good time to see if God's plan matches your prayer. 

While you are in groups at first it is good to observe them and see what this woman will teach your children in the future. Also have conversations and see if she is someone you enjoy talking with, and laughing and praying with and even if you argue well together.  Be sure she can take your sense of humor and any special or quirky parts about you. It is advisable to eat and pray together often and make time to have a date night regularly that can be maintained while courting and on into marriage so even if kids, or activities or work would normally become an excuse to avoid each other or your spouse. You have already established say a wednesday or teusday night date night, or whatever is best for you schedule at least once a week that is always reserved for your partner. Try taking her to mass or adoration on those date nights before or after you go out to eat or go hiking or dancing or whatever you like to do with her. I love the information given by bo sanchez, and how to find your soulmate, and the book how to find your soulmate without losing your soul. And a song by moriah peters and her husband from the band king and country and talks by jason and krystalina evert about how they decided to reserve their first kiss for the wedding day so that if the relationship did not work out the never dishonored their partner in any way. 

Finally it is great to attend a pre-cana wedding retreat so you can talk about major issues how like how to raise the children, finances, where to live, any medical issues you havent talked about, maybe issues among family members that your spouse needs to know going in to a lifetime commitment, and any possible conflicts that a spiritual advisor or family therapist can help prepare for both of you so you go in completely informed about who you are becoming one body with. The date night suggestion also applies to future children have a date night with each child each week maybe one specified hour with papa, and one specified hour with mama. So again that life never takes precedence over family time and so each child feels equally unique and special to both parents.

Men when your ready to be a servant hearted husband approach your potential bride's family and get their permission to propose, and offer how you may serve their daughter. If they are supportive of your offer of service than approach your potential bride and offer your service to her as her husband. If she accepts than start making wedding plans, dont delay, dont move in together, just get on with being a married family and plan for children. Also you can talk about having children and whether or not your willing to adopt children as a blessing to the world since they may feel abandoned by the parents who gave them to foster care. If she declines your offer than be a gentleman and ask if she needs more time, but if not than continue to pray or jesus to care for her and treat her like a sister in christ and know that God will care for her just as he did before you ever met her.
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